🕯

CHOOSE YOUR DEPTH

One-time payment. No subscription. Coach hates subscriptions.

FREE WANDERER
$0

Walk the surface ruins. Forever free.

  • ✅ Full procedural ruins (weather-tinted from your real location)
  • ✅ All 8 surface glyph stones
  • ✅ 12-entry personalized ASCII cheat-sheet
  • ✅ Real iOS + Android install instructions
  • ✅ Share link + Hall of Funniest Typos
★ COACH-APPROVED
FULL PLAYBOOK
$1.99

One coffee. One forever cheat-sheet. The Coach never shuts up.

  • ⚡ Everything in Free, plus:
  • 30+ entry expanded cheat-sheet
  • Audio pep-talk from Coach Glyph (TTS)
  • Printable PDF/PNG formatted for fridge-pinning
  • Catacombs level — 8 advanced stones (medical, code, foreign-language)
  • ⚡ Industry jargon detection from your whispers

📜 STONE TABLET TESTIMONIALS

Stopped texting 'ducking' at my mother-in-law. Worth ten dollars.

— Anonymous, Cleveland

The Coach told me I was a king. Then he fixed my keyboard. King behavior.

— jordan_22

Catacombs entry 'k8s' -> 'Kubernetes' saved my standup.

— senior platform engineer

My phone now knows my dog's name. We have peace.

— first-time dog owner

FAQ

Is this a subscription?

No. One payment, forever access.

Will this actually work on my phone?

Yes. The cheat-sheet uses native iOS Text Replacement and Android Gboard Personal Dictionary. Both are free, built-in features.

Why $1.99?

Because the Coach respects your time and your wallet.

Refunds?

Email and we'll figure it out, champ.